Kung Fu Prose

  “Master Toshi! Master Toshi! Now that I’ve mastered the monkey crane wing kick and the oxtail punch, what must I do?” “You must learn the dead crow mountain slap.” “Master Toshi! Master Toshi! Look after 15 tries, I’ve learnt it. Now, the enemies of peace will shudder!” “There is always much to learn. Find […]

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Getting Coffee

“Hi! Welcome to The Coffee Bean! May I take your order?” “Yes. A tall kale syrup infused, vegan papaya crushed candy sprinkled, no-sugar, no-dairy dairy, zero-carb, zero-fat, 23.23% water only, 15% synthetic ice, organic walnut mocha ala climate change activist with two decaffeinated espresso shots made from wheat kernels.” “Sure. Is there anything else you’d […]

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Humpty

Humpty sat in the refrigerator pondering and pondering, which is pretty much what eggs did. They were deep existential thinkers, contemplating on the nature of good and evil, and the nature of man and man’s relationship to them. He pondered on metaphysical things like the nature of the eternal yolk, the finitude of the shell […]

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