I’ve decided to give you an audio recording today instead of the written word. It’s me speaking extempore about my life, my challenges and my poetic journey. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.

8 thoughts on “ Musings ”

  1. What a beautiful soothing voice. ❤️
    I made it to the end! 😛
    I relate to a lot, most of what weve minorly discusses in the past. Many blogs, depression. The way we’ve transitioned our blogging life. Anyhow, I loved this voice post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you dear EC ❤️ Yeah depression is a curse. it’s awful and destroys the best of us. I’m glad you made it to the end. I hope you didn’t doze off in the middle, or say, “Enough of the weird silences and umms and you knows! Just talk! Damn it!” 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve missed your voice Nitin. You’ve helped me through some really tough times and for that I am so very grateful. This really resonates with me in a lot of ways. That desire to write, both despising and cherishing the reader. I also understand about not having friends and having no one to talk to. I have one very good friend and he’s of course not always available considering he has his own wife and family to manage without me adding to it. Last night I was unable to sleep… I haven’t been sleeping well or very much for several months but last night I was laying here crying for hours. I was on the edge of a full-blown anxiety attack, hyperventilating and the whole bit. I realized I had literally No One to talk to. I considered getting on IG and begging for someone ANYONE to talk to me, to take my mind off my own woes. But I couldn’t bring myself to do that because even in the midst of it I realized how fucking pathetic I truly am. What a lonely, pathetic creature. And so I cried because I’m lonely and I crave for someone to love me, really deeply love me, and I cried because of some news I received at the beginning of the month which has devastated me and I feel ruined. Ruined and pathetic and lonely and wretched. And then… and then I listen to you and I remember. I know that so many others have it so much worse than me. And I’m not alone. I mean, I AM, but I’m not. Because you and I, brother, we have these same thoughts and feelings and across alllll the miles, we share at least that. And I remain so very grateful to you. You and your writing… you ease just a little of this heavy load. Even without trying. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tara. I’m so deeply touched by your comment. It really moved me, and yes, please remember that you’re not alone. Please talk to me anytime you feel the need to. Just message me on Instagram or Hangouts. I’ll always listen and reply as soon as I can. I’m saddened that you’re unable to sleep, but please remember that asking for help and wanting to feel loved does not make you a pathetic person. On the contrary, it makes you genuine. It makes you one of those few people who’re willing to show the world their vulnerable side. Do not let any news get you down. I know that’s extremely hard, but I only ask you not to let it defeat you. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard and plagued with sorrow. But you have people who care about you, and please know that I’m one of them. I love you my sister, and I want you to stay strong. It’s never wrong to cry. I wish I could, but I’ve grown so numb. Maybe I do cry, somewhere within. You are not ruined. Even if you’re pessimistic, there’s still something you can hold onto. We all have that something even in the most trying times. Please message me. Take care.

      Love

      Nitin

      Liked by 1 person

  3. In college, studying Edwards’ “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God,” I found myself terrified and embarked on a spiritual journey. Still on it! 🙂 I hope you don’t trash this blog. Your posts are the rare ones I look forward to reading. A “fucked up situation.” Yes. I hear that. I read you because so much of what you say resonates with me. No beauty? No friends? This is the writer’s burden as well. All of it. I find when I’m feeling joy or love or happiness, I can’t write. At least not well. I have to feel lonely in order to enter the world of my creation. Otherwise, I want to live in the real world. Glad you spoke your mind. I wrote this while listening, as you may be able to tell. Wishing you peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. And thank you for listening! I don’t plan on trashing this blog although I might take long breaks now and then. I’m so glad that my words resonate with you. Yes the writer’s burden is depression and alienation. Like Soren Kierkegaard said, “What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like beautiful music.” I too find it difficult to write when I’m happy. My writing then becomes very shallow and I’m not fond of it. I guess I’m trying to find a balance these days. Too much misery isn’t good for the soul, but neither is taking everything too lightly.

      -Nitin

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.